Strategy 7: Embrace Your Humanity

Hi everyone! I’m Carol Diane and THIS is Happiness Reclaimed. You were born for the pursuit of happiness which means rising toward your potential mentally, physically, and spiritually, living a life of love with deep meaning and purpose. We’re leaving behind the emotional stress, bad health, and empty spirituality of today, to practice powerful life strategies in a mind-body-spirit approach to wellness. It’s time to reclaim your life. Let’s go.

Today we’re covering Powerful Strategy No 7: Embrace Your Humanity, and as you may already know, everything I’m about to say is for educational purposes only and at no time am I telling you what to do in a specific situation. Only you can decide what’s right for you in a given moment. Your participation in any way with the Happiness Reclaimed organization signifies your understanding of, and agreement with, these terms.

The phrase “Embrace Your Humanity” means we accept and we actually love our human condition and human needs. Another way of saying this is we rest in humility, because our humility removes a terrible and unrealistic burden.

We realize we can’t do it all and that’s okay. We have our limitations, and yes, even our faults and mistakes, but that’s okay with us for now. We can learn from all of that, and we will still pursue personal growth and improvement. But we’re not going to get lost in hating ourselves or despising our weaknesses and our human needs. We’re going to stop putting ourselves down. We’re going to reject any childhood programming that says we shouldn’t have needs, that we should be completely independent. We’re also going to reject childhood programming that says we have to be perfect to be lovable. 

So basically we’re deciding to operate in the world of reality. And the reality is that we do have faults, and we have made mistakes, and we do have legitimate human needs as well as human weaknesses and vulnerabilities. And being able to see all of that accurately is a sign of courage and strength. Operating in truth is always a strength. We recognize that putting up a false front is counter-productive, and so is self-condemnation.

 We also realize our powerlessness to some degree, meaning we can’t FORCE all problems to go away. We’re not the Manager of the Universe. You might say we “come to the end of ourselves.”  Or we “stop beating our heads against the wall.” We drop those unreasonable expectations of ourselves—and others. And yet, we can still work toward a more glorious future. 

You might say we “start working smarter rather than harder.” We get to relax and find inner peace. We lay it all down, and cast our burdens onto Him. We stop working to impress others, and we work to build others up, encourage them, and help them somehow.

Each of these first 3 podcasts in the Spirit section will have a quotation from a currently popular song that helps to illustrate the idea. Our quote for THIS podcast comes from the song “Hard-Fought Hallelujah” sung by Brandon Lake and Jelly Roll: 

In verse two, Jelly Roll sings: “Oh, I’ve wrestled with the darkness, but I’m trying to reach for the light. Yeah, the struggle keeps me honest and it breaks down the walls of my pride.”

For our purposes here, the word “darkness” can refer to anything that is holding us back, bringing us down, causing us to not do as well as we otherwise could do. 

Getting honest and admitting the darkness is there and you’ve been wrestling with it is huge. Honesty is often the first step toward any kind of solution to anything in life. This is all part of what we‘re talking about here as we talk about embracing our humanity.  We decide to be honest and stop being a poser. Nobody respects a poser anyway. 

People actually respect honesty and authenticity, and the ones who can’t handle it and reject you for it are probably toxic and filled with their own self-hatred. So in the situations I’m talking about, maybe they just don’t matter. 

With this strategy, we’re also talking about being humble with our opinions. In my book Happiness Reclaimed, I refer to this saying: “The secret of life is to remember you could be wrong, and your goal in life is to be less wrong.” 

And then I go on to write: “Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about! That’s what I think of as humility. Always eager to learn, to grow, to improve. Not putting too much faith in our own thoughts, feelings, or perceptions. I love the saying, ‘Who are the most objective people? The people who know they’re NOT objective!’ Amen!  I’m not saying we shouldn’t have deeply held beliefs. I’m just saying none of us is God, and a little bit of uncertainty and humility is a good thing. We can always learn something new or understand something more deeply.”

Now, sometimes when we’re trying to explain what the light looks like, it’s easier to explain the darkness, the ABSENCE of light.  

So in my book, I show people what some of that darkness looks like—

I talk about ways I’ve been deeply hurt and damaged by people who couldn’t or wouldn’t possess the kind of healthy humility we’re talking about.  And I talk about how so many of us in today’s culture are suffering because of this arrogant, dictatorial, I’m-always-right attitude that has become so prevalent. 

As a people, as a society, we’re too often walking in fear of rejection for being honest and speaking truth, because of those who have this dictatorial attitude. 

I also talk about the cruelty that occurs when people act in very hurtful or even abusive ways, especially because they won’t look at their own faults and mistakes. I imagine you already know how so much misery comes from people like that!

And in my book, I also suggest there’s a spiritual transformation that puts an end to all that misery. I briefly mention as an example that Jesus is famous for telling people to get the plank out of their own eye before worrying about the speck in somebody else’s eye. But how many of us have been hurt by people who refused to do that?  I think there is a spiritual identity that allows people to have that more fair and balanced perspective.  And when we face up to our own flaws, we’re better able to gran grace to others.

I also propose a theory that people like that maybe can’t face their own faults and mistakes because they think that request to look honestly at themselves is is just heaping onto them more condemnation, in addition to all the condemnation they’ve received from others in their life. 

But here’s the thing: We can set ourselves free in life if we stop seeing all correction that way. Authentic Christianity, as one example, never offers condemnation like that. It offers encouragement and an expression of concern or just a loving correction. 

But in our broader culture, loving correction or an expression of concern can be viewed as a terrible offense, like it violates some kind of social norm. We’re running into a lot of people now who won’t receive any kind of correction, no matter how lovingly or diplomatically it’s offered. We all need to examine this destructive resistance to truth.   

I know this might sting for some people, but I want us all to consider an idea: Could it be that anyone who thinks that all correction comes from a LACK of love, that even loving correction is somehow always cruel and unfair—could it be that those individuals might still be operating as a child? With a child mindset? 

When we mature in life, we realize the correction we received from our parents was an act of love—and no, I’m not talking  harsh and cruel condemnation or abuse. I’m talking about correction that carried truth. 

Only a child thinks that’s a LACK of love. When we mature, we become truly grateful for that correction. It’s the “Thanks, I needed that!” attitude. 

And then we carry that mature attitude, that willingness to learn and grow and improve, into all our other relationships and into the workplace and everywhere we go.  Correction is a golden opportunity to learn and grow and increase our own happiness. So my theory is that anyone who doesn’t understand that and refuses to receive and consider correction, is in an immature child state and therefore on a self-destructive path. 

But here at Happiness Reclaimed, we work hard to get out of self-destructive patterns. So today we’re embracing humbly learning and growing and finding a successful path in life.

So in closing, I want to say we’re just getting started with understanding this strategy of embracing our humanity. It’s really a lifelong effort, a set of recurring realizations, as we spiral upwards into a better and better life, greater and greater understanding and spiritual enlightenment. Don’t be impatient with yourself or with me as I try to explain these concepts. Just keep tuning in, and I mean “tuning in” in the broadest meaning of that phrase. Think about what every idea might mean to you personally, how you can apply it and use it to launch your success. I promise it will all come clear if you want it to. 

Be sure to check out the Links page of my website HappinessReclaimed.com, for all kinds of materials that will help you learn more. And my favorite songs are there too. Plus, my book Happiness Reclaimed will be extremely helpful, too.

It lays so much of the groundwork for you, but does that in more of a story format, which helps.

Please like, share and subscribe so that you don’t miss a single episode, and so that others you know can hear this as well. 

If you have any questions at all, please contact me at HappinessReclaimed.com. I’ll try to answer those questions in a future broadcast. So that’s it for today. Love ya guys.